What The First Half Of College Has Taught Me About Myself

  1. I really like old libraries.
  2. I’m a pretty good cook, as long as the recipe is for pasta or fish or something involving kale.
  3. I actually really, unironically, like kale.
  4. I’m lactose intolerant.
  5. I would do unholy things for a lifetime supply of coconut milk.
  6. My anxiety and intrusive thoughts make me one hell of a horror writer.
  7. I can’t function off of six hours of sleep anymore.
  8. I’m an old wine mom who loves Pinterest, Groupon, and Rosé and that’s fine.
  9. I feel better when I have more female friends.
  10. I’m funniest when I’m relaxed.
  11. Going to Target is, in fact, a special occasion worth getting excited for.
  12. I like to make things more difficult for myself just so I can say I made it through a difficult time.
  13. I live for makeup and need to stop apologizing for it.
  14. I’m a really strong alto/tenor and that’s pretty freaking awesome.
  15. I like strength training more than cardio.
  16. I like being buff. #strongnotskinny am I right?
  17. Just because I can make it through a semester without antidepressants doesn’t mean I should. See #12.
  18. I’m really good at writing comedy based on current events.
  19. I have one hell of a Bernie Sanders impression.
  20. I may or may not be a socialist.
  21. I’m really good at making cappuccinos.
  22. Instagram is, by far, my favorite social media.
  23. I don’t want to be an actress anymore.
  24. I don’t want to be on Broadway anymore.
  25. I want to be a comedian.
  26. I want to be a late-night political comedian á la Steven Colbert or Jon Stewart.
  27. But I also want to write novels.
  28. Specifically horror and magical realism novels.
  29. A friend once told me that “she was always scared to tell me fun facts she found, because I usually already knew everything about them” and I’m so proud to be that person.
  30. I would go to college forever if I didn’t have to take finals.
  31. Working at Starbucks has not made me like Starbucks drinks any less.
  32. I’m too anxious to really “go wild” and dance on tables and stuff.
  33. I don’t need to put up with a shitty roommate, no matter how long we’d been friends beforehand. There is always another option.
  34. I will never, ever not have a meal plan.
  35. With the exception of a few people, I was only friends with my high school friends because of vicinity; not because I actually liked or enjoyed being around them.
  36. It’s okay to cut off people who don’t contribute positively to your life. I don’t owe them anything.
  37. It’s totally possible to keep up a friendship when you’re in two different states.
  38. I’m capable of being loved.
  39. I’m not anyone’s therapist.
  40. I’m pretty damn cool. And I forget that sometimes. But I’m a singing, dancing, comedian who works as a barista, writes horror fiction, memorized trivia, and sings tenor half the time. If I were a sitcom character, I’d be a fan favorite. I need to always remember that.

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